Sarah Sears

Working from the theme of becoming an art therapist, I made five original pieces for this show—each one to represent an aspect of my journey. I begin with Artist, a piece that talks about my struggles with traditional artists and why I struggle to call myself an artist. Next is Lantern; this piece touches on the critical supervision relationship. The third is God is dead and you killed him, this piece was made to capture my experience of consoling both staff and patients. Next is God, in this work, I touch on the struggles experienced in finding my way as a new professional in a hospital setting. I closed with a self-portrait. In this, I discuss how I see myself and my roles as a professional as an art therapist and person.

Artist

This work was done in response to an important stage in my journey. I have had many horrible, problematic, and abusive interactions with people who referred to themselves as artists. These interactions deeply affected how I viewed myself, my work, and my role as an art therapist. These interactions have negatively affected my perceptions of myself; while I have made some progress towards self-acceptance, I still have a long way to go.

Lantern

This artwork is in response to a touchstone moment in my journey as a therapist. I was fortunate to have a supervisor who challenged me in my time as a practicum. As well as continued To be a valued resource to me and support my growth in my journey.

I choose to express then relationship in art because this supervisor finds response art paramount after reflecting on the relationship. I choose to depict a person’s vision impaired using a lantern to find their way. I was inspired by the work of my supervisor, where they depicted a person going down into the darkness and bringing back up a lantern to help the other. In my work, I am attempting to take the Lantern and go forward and make away.

God is dead and you killed him

This work encapsulates the experience I had in consoling a staff member after expressing their disgust with my profession for consoling undesirable clients. In this piece I attempt to represent the feelings of anger and frustration the staff expressed. As well as my feelings of trying to balance my intense need for social justice with my need to help everyone undesirable clients included.

God

This work is a photography piece of a tattoo that summarizes for me where I am at in my journey currently. The tattoo says, “I must not play at God” in Latin. I have a need to be everything for everyone and to give until I have nothing left. At this time in the world, and at this stage in my career, the worlds are colliding. When starting a career, you are supposed to give 100%; with COVID and working in health care; there is always another patient to be seen. And I am struggling to learn. At times, I need to step back and say I can’t, and I need help as well as I need to rest.

Self

This work was done to depict where I’m at this time in my journey as well as document the toll of working in healthcare. I currently provide mental health services in person at a hospital. While my title is an art therapist, my actual work is much more. I am a counselor, a helper, a healer, a friend, a coworker, a caregiver, a fighter, and so much more. The self-portrait shows the weight of all these roles; it also illustrated the level of determination I possess.